Divorcing A Narcissist in New Jersey
As a divorce lawyer in NJ, I have seen it all, but yet every case is unique. You may be married to a narcissist and you want out. You want your day in court or to obtain your divorce and finally move on. The emotional abuse, the rage, the domestic violence, manipulation and other behavior has gone too far. If you feel this way it is time to seriously consider the divorce process and hiring the best divorce lawyer in New Jersey that you can afford and that has the experience. While you retain a lawyer and hopefully before, you need to really document what is going on, what happened in the past and so forth. You need to be able to prove what you are claiming if you want to prove a divorce case for extreme cruelty and for custody of your children. In my years as a Divorce Attorney in New Jersey, It is very important to know that if you go into the divorce process with the mindset that the truth will reveal itself, you will obtain optimal results. You must be patient in order to build a strong case.
As a divorce lawyer in NJ, I have been trained to represent individuals in complex or highly emotionally charged divorces in New Jersey. I have seen the lack of empathy, the attempts to lie and distort facts, the gas lighting and other troubling traits of a narcissist. You know the perfect exterior and life he or she tries to show. But you know the truth. Family Court Actions can only fuel in triggering that rage and cause major blow ups you must be prepared for. It is a time to work closely with your lawyer and your closest family members. Your patience will be tested but if you hold the line, you can beat the narcissist. They will try to charm you to get their way and obtain a settlement or deal that they would never get in court if you remain patient.
The divorce process in NJ takes time and it is a stressful time. We can help. We can prepare you for court whether it is a full blown divorce trial or a child custody plenary hearing, we will prepare you for what is coming from a spouse that is a narcissist. You need to be ready to hear lies in court and not to react to those lies. You need to be ready for what may shock you as your spouse, as he or she believes his or her own lies, will go on and on to make you look like the problem in the marriage, the problem parent, you name it, its your fault. Stay the course. Hold the line. Your patience will be rewarded.
You may seek alimony, your spouse will do everything not to pay you, not pay child support and drag the case on. Little does your spouse know that as the case goes on, the more information an excellent divorce attorney will obtain. Information that can be used in court such as information exchanged by way of deposition. At a deposition, your divorce lawyer can ask pertinent questions that can be used in court. With the many questions that may seem repetitive, a seasoned divorce lawyer will eventually find inconsistent statements that can be used in Family Court. Some valuable tools by way of Discovery and the divorce process are: Court Appearances, Document Exchange, Interrogatories, Depositions, Settlement Conferences are just some of the tools that some of the best divorce lawyers in NJ or nationwide use to learn about the case and to frustrate the other spouse. As more time goes on, more information is obtained, and the truth can be revealed.
With these cases, like others with family law where it is hard to obtain at times, evidence is king. You need to be able to prove the behavior that you know is true and that you've dealt with for years. Again, Text Messages, Emails, Recordings, Photos of Physical Abuse, Etc are critically important to prove your case if you want to. Simply saying he is bi-polar or a narcissist is not enough. If you want custody of your child and its a custody battle in a trial in the New Jersey Family Court, you will need this important evidence. You need to make a good case because you will have child custody issues with a narcissist forever if you don't handle the case right.
The Importance of Evidence Cannot Be Overstated When Dealing With a Narcissist or a Sociopath. Some of the reasons why are:
- Manipulation and they believe their own lies
- Appear to be Victims when they are in fact the Abuser
- Use Reverse Psychology to Demean Their Spouses
- Again, they believe their own lies which is dangerous
With relevant evidence, you can win your case for custody, obtain your divorce and move on. Without evidence, it is very hard to win. It is important to plan a focused legal strategy when filing for divorce. If you still live together, or he or she has moved out it is imperative to make a plan and stick with it. As a divorce attorney in New Jersey, I pride myself on helping clients deal with the psychology of divorce and moving forward. I only work with clients that are honest with me, have realistic case goals and have the resources to be patient and build a strong case. And building a strong case does not mean we have to go to trial but it makes our case stronger which gives us negotiation power. In the end what do we want? We want to obtain the best results for you and your future.
Your grounds for divorce can range from extreme cruelty, adultery to simply irreconcilable differences where you do not need to prove anything. Nevertheless, my team and I are ready and able to work on legal issues that are important to you and important to us. You may seek sole custody or residential custody for your children or you may simply just want a divorce and to get away from him or her as soon as possible. You may seek child support or alimony. These are just some of the topics we would discuss if we met for a consultation in my office or on the phone. We can be reached on 973-337-9643. The first 30 minute consultation is free.