NO FAULT DIVORCE-7 Critical Tips To Avoid a Messy Divorce in New Jersey

Article about trying to have an amicable divorce in New Jersey or civilized divorce in New Jersey from New Jersey Family Law and Divorce Attorney Santo Artusa of Jersey City. The ball is in your court as to how a case starts or even how you react to overstated or made up allegations against you. Think before you act.
Divorce can be very painful but it does not have to be messy, it does not have to force the parties relive bad times, to rehash feelings from years ago. Working with experienced divorce attorneys can help you keep the divorce as civil as possible. Whether the issue is money, children, real property, retirement assets, alimony, etc., there is still hope to reach a fair and reasonable resolution without resorting to name calling, false allegations, using the children as pawns and other disturbing behavior. However, you need to Be VERY careful who you decide to work with because if you find yourself with the wrong divorce or family law attorney, you will find yourself fighting issues that were long resolved and that are making your attorney fees increasingly high every month, be very careful. How your life will be after your divorce is very important for you so how you behave in the divorce should be thought out and not built on rage and temporary inflamed emotions of family members egging you on. Stay focused, know your case goals and stay positive.

As an experienced divorce lawyer and divorce mediator in Jersey City New Jersey, I have seen cases that can be resolved in a friendly fashion turn nasty and other cases that start nasty end civil. Anything can happen with the right attitude and the right plan, just as it can with the wrong plan and wrong attitude. A lot of how your divorce or family law case goes really depends on your attitude and your expectations. Below I offer some tips to avoid a messy divorce case in New Jersey. Other tips I offer are just life tips in general when dealing with difficult situations, albeit, many are easier said than done.

  1. Try your best to be respectful to your spouse and his or her attorney. “You get more with honey than vinegar.”
  2. Write down what you are flexible on and what you are not and why.
  3. Refrain from engaging with your spouse’s family and friends if they are part of he problem.
  4. Do not flaunt your new girlfriend/boyfriend, expensive car, etc.  Limit social media.
  5. Never use the children as pawns in your plan.
  6. Set time aside for yourself during a divorce to de-stress, regain energy and focus.
  7. If you have children, adore them and give them your full attention.

While this is only a short list, I think you get the point. Stay positive, keep trying your best to think of the big picture as there will be hurdles along the way but no hurdle is high or tough enough to beat patience and proper planning.


Do you have a court date in Jersey City, Hudson County Family Court? For a restraining order? For a family court case? We can help you NOW! Jersey City Family Law Attorney Santo Artusa and his team are skilled in family and criminal law cases in Jersey City, NJ.

You may have a court date in family court in Hudson County, Essex County, Union County or beyond in New Jersey because you filed an application or the other party filed something and you must attend court in Jersey City, Newark, Hackensack, etc. Either way, the day is approaching and you are going over what your goal is or not sure what your goal really is, either way, you want the court date to go well. You want the best results possible. While nobody can guarantee what a family court Judge will do, working with an experienced New Jersey family court attorney will help you seek the right relief and defend you when you need to be defended.

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I will offer three tips to you aside from the fact that you should have a family law attorney with you to handle your case.

  1. Have your proof with you and be organized. You cannot hand a Judge 100 papers and expect the Judge to comb through them all. The Judge will be upset and thats not good. I just had a court case this week were the other attorney came to court will a folder of papers and audio CDs. I asked where the proof was, the Judge asked where the proof was and the other attorney said, its on the CDs, you can listen to them! The Judge looked at the attorney as if she was crazy and said it is your job to have the transcript and so forth. So have your proof but be organized.
  2. Be respectful to the court and court staff. The Judge and the Judge’s staff is like their own little army, their own little team. Attack or disrespect one, you disrespect all, never do it, don’t do it. Even if you get an attitude for no reason, do not respond in a bad way, EVER.
  3. Dress Appropriately– I cannot tell you how often I am in disbelief over what people who have court wear to court, whether it is a woman with a skirt so high or a man with his pants to the floor, dress as if you are going to church. No you do not have to wear a suit to church or to court but dress neat, dress conservatively.

While this are only basic tips, sometime you need to have basic common sense when going to court and when dealing with important family law situations. My team and I are trained family law attorneys in New Jersey with our main office in Jersey City. If you have a family law case coming up and seek a lawyer, contact us sooner rather than later as we can only accept a certain amount of cases per day. Contact us on 201-706-7910 today.

You can also contact us via this contact form. Please provide us with the best way and when to contact you so we can help you today.


Whether you are seeking a divorce lawyer, seeking to file for divorce, have been served divorce papers in Hudson County, please read below, it is important because if you are not happy the ones around you will not be happy.

@JERSEY CITY HUDSON COUNTY NEW JERSEY FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY SANTO ARTUSA OF JERSEY CITY……..Yep, Yes I said it. Divorce may be the best thing you ever do in your life for yourself. As a New Jersey Divorce Attorney, you can tell when the marriage is over just how the spouse speaks of his or her soon to be ex…. No for you, While you are thinking about it, have decided to do it, are stressed out, are unsure of many factors, there is a light at the end of the divorce tunnel. While I do not profess to be someone who believes the grass is greener I do believe that if you have some control and you are able to cut out toxic parts of your life, it may be the best decision you ever make. As a very busy divorce lawyer in Jersey City, New Jersey, I meet with young professionals daily who have just had enough. Whether it is because of an arranged marriage, whether it is the constant bickering, whether it is that you lost yourself because you have been trying to please someone that cannot be pleased, either way, you are done, finito! Trust me, I understand and I can explain reasons from a New Jersey divorce lawyer’s perspective to make it even clearer.

Benefits to obtaining a divorce sooner rather than later

  • If you divorce early on you may not have accumulated many assets to divide. As you get older, you will be able to accumulate assets that your former spouse will never be entitled to. For the new spouse- prenuptial agreement!
  • When there is less to divide, the divorce can be finalized much faster!
  • As you get older, you will earn more. When you earn more, you pay more in alimony. Everybody who pays alimony, hates alimony but again, they are free now so the monthly check may very well be worth it to them.
  • You are still young and can find the right person that respects you, cares for you, and you can actually enjoy your life. Who would have thought?
  • The level of animosity and stress is felt by the kids while you remain in a troubled relationship setting the stage that the children believe this is what a marriage is all about. Is that what marriage is about? I know it does not have to be, but it is up to you to admit it is not.
  • Regardless of money, you will rid yourself of a toxic relationship that affects every part of your life.
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New Jersey Divorce Lawyer
Jersey City Divorce Attorney Santo Artusa
My name is Santo Artusa, Jr., Esq. I am a divorce attorney in Jersey City, New Jersey focusing on divorce and family law issues throughout the Garden State, in every county in New Jersey whether it is an actual divorce, annulment, child custody case, parenting time, alimony, child support, domestic abuse, equitable distribution/assets division, divorcing someone outside of the United States, my team and I are skilled in matrimonial litigation in New Jersey. If you have a case and seek a consultation, call my team on 973-337-9643 today for an in person or phone consultation to determine if we should work together. Or if you prefer, we can contact you after you fill out our contact form below:


Jersey City divorce attorney and New Jersey Family Law Attorney Santo Artusa……This article is about common divorce misconceptions in New Jersey and how I will “destroy” them one by one with the help of Spock. Ok, first myth that we will destroy today: “My spouse will get half of everything I have” This is false. First, New Jersey divorce laws are based on equitable distribution not community property meaning that it is based on various equitable factors. Even if the court divided half of property you have, it is only the property/assets acquired during the marriage. So if you think your spouse will take money you had before the marriage too, no he or she will not. There are circumstances where money is commingled but that if for another time and another article.

#2 – The family courts favor women. Untrue. More and more women are lawyers and in turn Judges and believe it or not, many of these judges in family court are tougher on women then they are on men. I have seen it with my own eyes time and time again.

#3 Men can never have custody of their kids. Untrue. The tender years doctrine is no longer the law or the way courts consider custody. The age of children is part of the factors in custody determinations but mothers and fathers are equal in the State of New Jersey. Obviously if one parent has had the children for a long period of time, the other parent cannot simply expect to fly into their lives and just obtain custody and if they do not, they cannot blame it on whether they are male or female, mother or father.

#4 Men Cannot Receive Alimony-Untrue. Women, you have what you want! You have jobs and salaries just like men and guess what? If you earn more, you will have to pay alimony! Whether you are a man or woman, the breadwinner will pay alimony. If the parties agree to waive alimony then of course it does not have to be paid but alimony can and is paid to men everyday. New world!

Anyway friends, until next time, thank you for reading and contact me if you seek a divorce attorney in New Jersey. We can be reached on 973-337-9643.

Domestic Violence Lawyer


From JERSEY CITY LAWYER: SANTO ARTUSA——–How to end a marriage when you know its over but you still care for your spouse or you may hate your spouse now but do not want harm to come to him or her. What is the best way to handle the situation? We can help in our Jersey City divorce law office today.

While we are Jersey City Divorce Lawyers, we are human and understand people as our practice is about people. You decided to file divorce papers in New Jersey, you are seeking New Jersey divorce lawyers and want to move on with your life. This is a big step. You may be thinking, “I can’t believe that son of a bitch cheated on me” or ” I cant believe he leaves the house for weeks and then just comes home” ” I can’t believe she spent my whole bonus on shoes!” or on and on. You may be very angry, you may be upset, you may want vengeance and you may also still care for this person that you have been married to for years, I would hope so. Marriage is a big deal to me, marriage and family is a big deal to me. I hope even if you are at the end of this journey, you can still reflect back to when you would do anything for this person or still care for this person because you have memories in common, children in common, etc. Maybe that is not the case for you but I hope it is because anger will only get you so far. To think clearly you want to be calm and work with a divorce attorney that can stay calm under pressure and guide you accordingly. These are the best divorce attorneys for you.

When you are seeking a divorce, you need to know if you are certain that you really want a divorce. Second, you need to know what you want. Some people just want a divorce or annulment, some people want money, some people want child support, alimony, etc. Every case is unique but either way, an experienced divorce lawyer can help you understand your rights and what you need to do to obtain them. We can help you navigate the divorce process to ease some of your tensions and concerns. We have been there before and we have ourselves fought in family court for our on cases, we know what it is like, trust us.

As one of the experienced divorce attorneys in Jersey City, New Jersey who practices statewide, I prefer to have cases where there is hope for civility. It is best to move on with your divorce in a positive manner if possible for your well being and your children as well if you have kids. There will be disagreements, without a doubt but an argument or arguments can flush the bad out and get us on the road to fruitful negotiations and reaching an agreement that neither party is thrilled with but both parties can live with, this is the surest sign of a good settlement.

If you are seeking a divorce and you want to have a divorce that will not totally destroy your post divorce life with your ex for various reasons, contact me and my team on 973-337-9643 today to discuss your family law situation. You will be glad you did.

NJ-Child Support Lawyer


One of the biggest issues in family court-divorce court in New Jersey is: parenting time and child custody. As a family law attorney in Jersey City-Hudson County, I have represented 100s if not 1000s of people in family law-parenting time concerns in the Hudson County Family Court which is located at 595 Newark Avenue, Jersey City, NJ. This article is intended to provide common sense tips in child custody/parenting time cases in New Jersey. I use my experience as an attorney and my life experience as a father to offer these tips from a different vantage point. Some points may be overstated or repeated in various articles I have written but it is because these tips are the same tips that work and help people over and over again. Each case is different but if the parents truly care for their children, which is always my hope, we can come to a parenting schedule that promotes parenting time for both parents. This is key for the well-being of the children. However, in cases were one parent is “toxic” or is trying to ruin the relationship between one parent and child, a stricter schedule and therapy may be needed, we can help you. Below are just five reasons why you should have a set parenting schedule:

  1. You and the children will benefit from a structured schedule. They will know where to be, what to expect, look forward to that time and so on. Less confusion, less problems.
  2. The set schedule will become a routine and the children will begin to have routines at the alternate residence to do homework, school projects, activities, etc.
  3. It gives you a set time for yourself which is needed between work, caring for the kids and all other things that you may need a rest from.
  4. The more detailed the plan, the lesser chance you will have fights and return to court. Make it as black and white as possible.
  5. With a set schedule, it gives your ex less of a chance to try to control you through the children and will limit unnecessary communication.

When the relationship is tense, in a divorce, leads to arguments, it is best to just have the rules set in a parenting schedule so a limit on needless communication is in effect and will only help you. If you have a family law case, domestic abuse/restraining order case, divorce in Hudson County, I suggest you give my office a call to discuss these matters further. We can be reached in our Jersey City office on: 973-337-9643.

NJ-Child Support Attorney


Children lean on us and follow our lead. As a parent and divorce-family law attorney in Jersey City-New Jersey, I am well aware of how it affects kids when a divorce is imminent and this is a universal truth whether in Jersey City, Newark, Hackensack, etc. When you have children, you only want the absolute best for them. Whether that is where you live, the schools they attend and of course: family unity, a home with two parents and the kids. However, many of us know that some marriages just do not last, do not work and are outright toxic for everyone involved, including the little ones. While we try to mask our despise or lack of care for your spouse, the children feel the tension and children in the end will model our relationships. In short, not only are you hurting yourself, you may be hurting the kids despite your efforts to shield them. So this is why it is best to file for divorce sooner rather than later when you know the marriage will not improve and you have tried to do all you can to fix it, however some things can never be fixed.  Some of the reasons it is wise to file for divorce now instead of years from now:

  1. The sooner you split up, the sooner you can begin to have a set schedule for the kids, for yourself and begin to heal.
  2. You will still receive financial support if you are the custodial parent and not have to explain every expenditure that you have. If you pay the support, you pay it and the other parent cannot ask for anything more than what is agreed to or court ordered, FINALLY a budget!
  3. When you have parenting time, it is your parenting time and it will not be interrupted or ruined with the toxic-negative aura of your ex.
  4. Your spouse’s letting the kids down on a consistent basis will be over because you will have your time and the non-custodial parent will have his or her time. (if the other parent does not use his or her visits, you can have those visits or parenting time suspended as it is key for the kids to have consistency).
  5. You will be able to focus on yourself which is key to being a good parent. When you are sad the  kids know, when you are happy, the kids know.
  6. The kids will eventually be happier by seeing you happy
  7. Any money accumulated during the marriage is usually split evenly and you can use that money for a new home, apartment, etc. Some of the money will be tax free.
  8. You will be able to spend the money you earn however you wish!

There are many reasons why to exit a relationship by way of divorce, these are just some with regard to your well-being and that direct correlation to the children’s success and happiness. I am a divorce lawyer in Jersey City that is a parent of two kids and I understand how divorces and break ups affect kids. In short, it is not an easy decision but when you know it is the right decision to make, contact my team at the Artusa Law Firm of Jersey City to discuss your case on 973-337-9643. All calls and consults are confidential.


As a family law attorney, I am in family court in Hudson County almost everyday arguing on behalf of my clients. I also practice in Essex, Bergen, Passaic, etc. Sometimes people call my office and are worried because they have an upcoming court date in family court or they just had their first family court experience and it did not go well and now seek a family lawyer. First, you have to take a step back and understand that it is ok to be anxious when going to court, that the Judge may come across as very short with you or that you think the family court judge does not like you. Most of the time, this is not true at all. It is very important to remember that Judges are very busy. They do not have time to let people turn the court’s into the Jerry Springer show, they must maintain order. So whether your judge is tough or not, it is important to work with an experienced family lawyer that can try to please the court, show the court respect, make arguments supported by law and that are concise. With that, a “tough judge” may begin showing you respect, may begin to remember more specific facts about your case and you may begin to feel that you are not just another number.

Key tips when appearing in family court:

  1. Don’t be a smart ass.
  2. Dress appropriately
  3. Be on time
  4. Do not make comments when the Judge is speaking
  5. Do not make faces when the other side is speaking
  6. Do not yell at anyone
  7. Show respect to everyone at the court
  8. Do not waste the court’s time

Yeah that seems like an obvious list but you wont believe what I see in family court on a daily basis. First impressions mean alot to everyone and when you come into court without following those 8 steps and other common sense “methods” you will have a long road ahead of you. If you have a family law case in Hudson County, contact us today on 973-337-9643.

Mark Baber, Judge of the Hudson County Superior Court-Restraining Order Judge


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  • Have you been served with a domestic violence/temporary restraining order in Jersey City, Hoboken, Hudson County?
  • Have you been arrested for simple assault? terroristic threats? Or any other domestic violence related crime in Jersey City or Hoboken?
  • Are you seeking a final restraining order in Jersey City against someone?
    Call us today on 201-706-7910 if you seek professional legal representation in the Hudson County Family Court.

As one of the leading Hudson County and Jersey City domestic violence defense Attorneys, I frequently appear before the Honorable Judge Mark Baber who decides whether a temporary restraining order will become permanent and other family law related issues in Hudson County, New Jersey. Judge Vito Sciancalepore  now also hears domestic violence cases in the Hudson County Superior Court. Judge Baber’s courtroom is on the 2nd floor of 595 Newark Avenue, Jersey City as is Judge Sciancalepore. Judge Baber is a very tough judge but who is equally tough to all litigants. The Judge is also very smart as he graduated from the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Law, one of the hardest law school’s in America. When appearing before Judge Baber, it is important to know your case (the exact incidents, times, dates, places, witnesses). Making a mistake as to which date a certain incident occurred or what time, may make your testimony less credible than you may want it to be appear and this can hurt your chances of obtaining a final restraining order. On the flip side, if you are trying to prevent a final restraining order from becoming permanent, you may want to have an attorney that can find weaknesses in the alleged victim’s testimony, ask questions about motive and to try and get to the bottom of the situation to show that a final order is not needed. Whether you are a victim or defendant in Jersey City, it is wise to have an attorney with you to represent your interests in family court. New Jersey Restraining orders can have a lasting impact on your life.

  • Do you have an upcoming court date for a restraining order (final hearing) in the Hudson County Superior Court-Family Division, 595 Newark Avenue, Room 201, Jersey City, NJ 07306?
  • Are you seeking professional legal representation for your case?
  • Do you have a court date in the Jersey City Municipal Court, Hoboken Municipal Court or the Hudson County Criminal Court-CJP-Central Judicial Processing? We can help you today.

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Restraining Order Attorneys

Some of the most important factors in a final restraining order hearing are: the nature of the alleged offenses (harassment, criminal mischief, simple assault, threats, aggravated assault, sexual abuse) and the alleged history of domestic violence between the parties, whether reported or unreported. We can help you go through the temporary restraining order (TRO) to see how we can disprove certain elements and what the alleged victim must prove for a finding to be considered in the final determination at the end of the final restraining order hearing. If you are a victim seeking a final restraining order, we can help you to as we have been successful in representing victims and defendants in Jersey City Restraining Order Cases.

A final restraining order can affect your life in many ways. It can affect your custody and parenting time, it can affect your job or job prospects, you can be added to a national database , it can affect your immigration. For a victim, it can be life changing to know that a domestic violence abuser cannot contact you anymore, cannot be near you, your home, your place or employment, a tough protection is given to you. Fighting and preparing for a final restraining order hearing is critical, there are no plea deals. On some occasions civil restraints can be entered into to stop contact between the parties and to resolve some other issues (custody, parenting time, who will live in the home/apartment) but either way, you must be ready to conduct the hearing and defend yourself and for victims, to prove your case before the family court Judge. For more information about our services, visit Jersey City Domestic Violence Defense Attorney or Jersey City Divorce Lawyer.  For other information about some of the criminal elements  concerning domestic violence and criminal charges, visit:

Jersey City Criminal Defense Attorney 

Jersey City Municipal Court Defense Attorney.

Domestic Violence and Criminal Mischief

Harassment Charges and Restraining Order Defense

Violating a Restraining Order in New Jersey

The Artusa Law firm is skilled in representing people in difficult family law and criminal law cases throughout the State of New Jersey but with an emphasis in the Hudson, Bergen and Essex County areas. If you seek professional representation for your case, Contact us today on 973-337-9643. We have offices in Jersey City, Hoboken and Newark, NJ.