Children lean on us and follow our lead. As a parent and divorce-family lawyer in Jersey City-New Jersey, I am well aware of how it affects kids when a divorce is imminent and this is a universal truth whether in Jersey City, Newark, Hackensack, etc. When you have children, you only want the absolute best for them. Whether that is where you live, the schools they attend and of course: family unity, a home with two parents and the kids. However, many of us know that some marriages just do not last, do not work and are outright toxic for everyone involved, including the little ones. While we try to mask our despise or lack of care for your spouse, the children feel the tension and children in the end will model our relationships. In short, not only are you hurting yourself, you may be hurting the kids despite your efforts to shield them. So this is why it is best to file for divorce sooner rather than later when you know the marriage will not improve and you have tried to do all you can to fix it, however some things can never be fixed.  Some of the reasons it is wise to file for divorce now instead of years from now:

  1. The sooner you split up, the sooner you can begin to have a set schedule for the kids, for yourself and begin to heal.
  2. You will still receive financial support if you are the custodial parent and not have to explain every expenditure that you have. If you pay the support, you pay it and the other parent cannot ask for anything more than what is agreed to or court ordered, FINALLY a budget!
  3. When you have parenting time, it is your parenting time and it will not be interrupted or ruined with the toxic-negative aura of your ex.
  4. Your spouse’s letting the kids down on a consistent basis will be over because you will have your time and the non-custodial parent will have his or her time. (if the other parent does not use his or her visits, you can have those visits or parenting time suspended as it is key for the kids to have consistency).
  5. You will be able to focus on yourself which is key to being a good parent. When you are sad the  kids know, when you are happy, the kids know.
  6. The kids will eventually be happier by seeing you happy
  7. Any money accumulated during the marriage is usually split evenly and you can use that money for a new home, apartment, etc. Some of the money will be tax free.
  8. You will be able to spend the money you earn however you wish!

There are many reasons why to exit a relationship by way of divorce, these are just some with regard to your well-being and that direct correlation to the children’s success and happiness. I am a divorce lawyer in Jersey City that is a parent of two kids and I understand how divorces and break ups affect kids. In short, it is not an easy decision but when you know it is the right decision to make, contact my team at the Artusa Law Firm of Jersey City to discuss your case on 201-706-7910. All calls and consults are confidential.