Einstein’s favorite color was green and his favorite number 7 so let’s stick with 7 very important questions that people should ask or do ask divorce lawyers when meeting with them to determine what to do at this point in their lives and I mean past the point of family meetings, interventions, marriage counseling, etc., the point where one party has left or one party needs to go for the sanity of the home, the kids, etc. Never easy, but sometimes it is what must be done. Remember, leaving the house never means losing your stake in the home itself so leave that issue alone for now. Lets focus on what you can do, should do and never do when you get to this point.
- My parents passed away, should I deposit that into our joint account since that is all we have? NO, NO, NO. Open your own account and place those funds there. Those funds are yours and not marital, keep those funds apart. You are allowed to open you own account an anytime during the marriage, during separation, etc. It is not against the law nor will you be punished for that.
- I hate my spouse because he cheated on me, I do not want him to see the kids, Can I do that? Think about this. Forget what you did or did not do, what your spouse did or did not do. Your kids do not deserve to be alienated from their father or mother because of your bitterness. Grow Up. Your kids will hate you in the end when the truth is revealed and if it is never revealed, the guilt of your purposeful alienation will haunt you when you kids struggle with adult relationships.
- I want to live in the house, can’t I just call the police to get my spouse out? Yes you can temporarily if they believe you are in fear but if you lose the restraining order, your spouse will be allowed back in and if you are found not to be credible, it will come up in the divorce case. Not good.
- My friends tell me I can get more money or that I don’t have to let my spouse see the kids, is this true? Your friends are your worst enemies in terms of legal advice. They do not know anything except what may have happened to them in their case. They do not know everything in your case no matter how you try to explain it. Focus on your case and listen to your divorce attorney.
- I want sole custody so I can make all decisions for our children, is that easy? No it is not. New Jersey favors joint custody unless you can show concerns, a lack or interest, a lack of communication, etc. However, it is important to remember that the primary or residential parent has many powers whether it is sole or joint custody in New Jersey.
- Does a Judge have to decide our issues? No. You can make a deal/settlement through mediation or arbitration. You can also agree together and it will be made in writing, The Judge only decides at the last resort and the court tries to help resolve your case along the way with the help of skilled divorce lawyers and deadlines.
- If we do not agree, how long will a divorce take? It can take 6 months to over one year depending on the issues involved. The more you can agree on (if anything) the faster the case can move.
These are just 7 questions that people have during divorce/family law consults in my firm. If you have a potential case, contact my team on 201-706-7910 to setup an appointment in our Jersey City location.
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