As one of the busiest divorce lawyers in New Jersey, I hear many things. At first I was shocked with some revelations, other times, I understood. As I became a more experienced lawyer in New Jersey, specifically in my Jersey City office, I began to understand what people go through and that everyone has a different life story. I don’t judge, I listen and try to understand how I can help and how I can help them heal in certain cases. In other cases, the client has been done with the spouse mentally for years but just did not file for divorce or just waited because of money or whatever reason. While it is so easy to blame others, especially your spouse, it usually takes two to tango and their is a level of fault with both parties.
The days of until death due is part are long gone unfortunately. With the prosperity or the world, especially the West (America leading the way), people do not view marriage the same. The traditional roles of men and women in America are gone and families may have more money but the family unit is much different, with that divorce rates and children born out of wedlock skyrocketing (divorce rates have been about the same for 20 years or more but children out of wedlock is now coming close to 50%). You may think this is good, you may not, I am not making an opinion, I am just obsessed with numbers and statistics. Numbers do not lie despite how some may try to spin them. Today, people do not view it (marriage) as a partnership when they should. It is the foundation of our country, our world. However, culture moves quickly in the digital age and with that comes the need for constant gratification and easy solutions. I am not saying that there is no place for divorce but I feel people give up too quickly. Again, I am not writing this as a divorce lawyer that is there not to judge but I am writing as a person that grew up in a home where my parents remained married in difficult times and in a home where money was not the goal, where money could not replace my father or my mother. Today, people feel money can replace someone they claimed to love. It is sad but an unfortunate truth. Our society is filled with quick fixes: bankruptcy, abortions, plan B, welfare, section 8, so on and so forth. Some have a rationale basis for their use but in many ways it is a way to avoid accepting blame. Accepting blame or personal responsibility is never easy. Many people never do. While we all have faults and have to contend with issues the best we can, the reason I write this tonight is the best way to move forward is to also accept some responsibility for what has occurred.
In divorce cases, everyone wants to point a finger. What good that does, nobody knows. What I do know is if you really want to move on, accept your spouse’s faults, and admit to yours too. Some acts will never equal the others but if you do take responsibility and in some cases have mercy and forgiveness, you will heal faster and your divorce will move faster so that you can begin your new journey in life.
Prior to becoming a divorce and family law attorney in New Jersey, I was a young man working on Wall Street and other industries trying to find my way in the world. As a young man, I did not accept responsibility for my actions at times and this caused more problems than if I dealt with issues head on when problems began. I did not accept blame. I learned from that and learned when I became a lawyer, I can only work with people that can admit to certain faults, take certain responsibility so that I know they are realistic and that they are serious about improving their situations. This is one of the greatest aspects of being a family law attorney and divorce lawyer. You get to that moment where your client understands that I am human too and that despite what has been done, I can still help, just be honest with me. I have been there before, I have been on the other side of this screen seeking help. I know what it is like and I can help you if you want the help needed.
I am not a mystic or some superior being, I am just a divorce lawyer that sees what is going on and how to make clients understand the path to a more peaceful divorce and one that will help them move on is one where both parties accept some responsibility and if there are kids to place emotions on the side and focus on the needs of the children you are innocent in this fight. Our children look to us for our guidance, our strength. Throwing stones at a glass window for vengeance in front of our kids will only guarantee that they will in the future when things do not go their way. If you are ready to move on with your life after trying your best and want to work with a divorce attorney that believes in trying to stay positive to reach a path that will last throughout the storms of life, contact the Artusa Law Firm of Jersey City today on 201-706-7910 today for an appointment.
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